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Frost descended on our scarves and made lazy trailing patterns where our breath didn’t melt them away. I sent forth my spiritual essence to wander and play with the streaks of light that graced the sky now, horizon to horizon. I practiced letting my soul free to travel with them, whither and from they go, the way a friend had inadvertently taught me just a few short weeks before, in one of my life’s most poignant love lessons. Three months earlier, I had watched the Perseids with this same group and two others- at a different state park, a warmer night, down by the lake, the stars reflected in its inky surface. I lay next to a young man so full of vitality and promise I thought I might implode from his very proximity. I fell head over heels in love that night- not so much with him as with his spirit, and what it stood for- everything that was missing from my life, like adventure, and future and hope and courage. My body was overcome and filled to bursting with desire, not for his. M also very hungry…kuch khana b hai…”Mai usko lekar flat pr aa gya. Usko flat k ander le gya or market se khane k liya kuch lane ka bhana bnakar aa gya…fir market se kuch snakes, pizza and cod drink or ek condom pack liya or vapis room pr aa gya…jb room me aaya to dekha usne mera laptop open kiya hua hai and vo bed pr ulte leti hui hai…maine b jyada time waste ni kia. Or bed pr uske bagal me baith gya. Mujhe dekh kr usne fir se smile ki.Mai man me soch rha tha k kaise start kru. To maine pucha us se k “ tum mujhe dekh kar always smile q krte rahte ho.Ye sunte hi vo sarmane lagi or boli “ kuch ni aise hi”I askd “ bfd hai koi”, usne kha “ ni hai”…fir maine pucha k “ tumhe dar ni lag rha…yha mere sath akele ho flat me or koi ni hai…ye sunte hi vo hasne lagi or boli “ dar kaisa. I blv on u” n vaise b tumse hi milne aayi thi mai…”Ye sunte hi mujhe signal mil gya or maine uska hath pakad kar apni or khich liya…usne dur jaane ki koshish to ki but fir vo bi sath dene lagi…uske lips bahut hi.
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